Have you noticed that our mood, our internal state and our degree of satisfaction with our day and our work is given in great part by our interaction with people? Our relationships are a great opportunity for personal growth and evolution.
Starting from a spiritual approach, the world works like a mirror, where everything around us is a reflection of what happens inside us. Applying this principle to social interaction, it means that what bothers us about people, what annoys us about them or behaviors we can’t stand for example, are our own “characteristics” that we don’t realize. Being aware of this is essential for us to realize what we project onto others in ourselves.
The practice of meditation and mindfulness contribute so that, over time, it is possible to observe this and consequently use what bothers us in our favor. The goal is to be able to observe rather than react impulsively and ask yourself: in which area/situation of my life do I behave this way? Changing the focus and facing what we don’t like as an opportunity for evolution makes us capable of not taking things personally and consequently our mood and internal state will depend less on external factors. This is a great freedom: taking ownership of how we feel and not letting ourselves be dominated by feelings of anger, resentment, disappointment and victimism that are very common in us when we judge others.
For those who prefer a psychological approach, this phenomenon is called projection and is one of the defense mechanisms of the ego according to Freud. This mechanism is responsible for attributing to other psychic contents that belong to the person himself. The subject externally attributes psychic aspects that are their own, but are not recognized as theirs. For example: a person, being unable to tolerate the anguish aroused by his hatred of someone, unconsciously changes his attitude “I hate this person” to “this person hates me”.
Questioning yourself (without judgment) is always a good way to become more aware of your external projections. Only when we recognize something in ourselves can we choose a path to change.
Learn from your difficult relationships. They will teach you a lot about yourself!