Rethinking Strength and Vulnerability
November in the UK is recognised as Men’s Mental Health Month, and I want to take this opportunity to bring attention to a topic that deserves more open discussion.
Women and men: different approaches to seeking help
I regularly attend workshops and events focused on personal growth and wellbeing. One thing I often notice is that women tend to be in greater numbers. They seek to heal, overcome trauma, and challenge self-limiting beliefs.
While men’s participation is gradually increasing, it is still women who most openly admit that they need help.
Some striking statistics
England (2024)
- Male suicide rate: 17.1 per 100,000
- Female suicide rate: 5.6 per 100,000
(Source: Samaritans)
Brazil (2024)
- The suicide rate among men is three times higher than among women.
(Source: Ministério da Saúde)
It’s fascinating how humanity continues to advance in technology and science yet remains behind when it comes to emotional freedom.
The weight of societal expectations
We are still conditioned by societal ideas of what is right or wrong, acceptable or not, and these boxes often make us ill.
While societal expectations weigh heavily on both genders, women tend to talk about their struggles, seek help, and support each other. Men, on the other hand, often suffer in silence.
Research suggests that adherence to traditional masculinity standards is linked to poorer mental health and contributes to high suicide rates among men, alongside socioeconomic pressures.
When I was a child, I would hear mothers say to their sons:
“Don’t cry, you’re a man.”
That message still echoes across generations.
Ladies, I am not going to mention the appalling messages about women this time.
I want to dedicate this space to men. I genuinely believe that men can and must cry. Vulnerability is not weakness; it is what makes us human.
It is time for a collective awakening, one that is not about polarities or power but about collaboration and balance.
When I worked in the corporate world and implemented a women’s empowerment programme, I always included activities for men — to increase awareness of inclusion and encourage them to become allies.
Real change happens together
When I worked in the corporate world and implemented a women’s empowerment programme, I always included activities for men — to increase awareness of inclusion and encourage them to become allies.
Real change happens together, not through division.
We need allies, not division. As a society, we should embrace change together to transform the status quo on major issues, regardless of sex, race, religion, or any other difference. We should learn to appreciate diversity rather than seek power over what is different from us.
If a man understands that men and women are equals, he can also begin to see that he too can be vulnerable and ask for help.
However, if a man believes that a woman doing the same job should earn less, or sees her competence as a threat, it may be difficult for him to accept his own vulnerability. The two things are deeply connected.
A man who understands equality in a healthy way is also more open to embracing his emotions and seeking support when needed.
Seeking support and building resilience
If you are struggling, please reach out. There are many organisations offering mental health support.
If what you need is self-awareness, clarity, or confidence, consider coaching or therapy. Both can help you reconnect with yourself and build emotional resilience.
Boys, embrace your vulnerability as you embrace women’s strengths. Together, these qualities foster collaboration and help us overcome not only mental health challenges but also outdated societal models.
The hidden crisis
I recently came across an ACCPH article highlighting the hidden mental health crisis among men in construction, where more than 80% of workers report feeling anxious, depressed, or stressed, yet most remain silent, choosing to “tough it out.”
In my work with male leaders, I have seen how transformative it can be when men accept that emotions are not a female trait. The earlier they embrace emotional awareness, the better leaders they become more confident, grounded, and authentic.
Gratitude and inspiration
Finally, I want to thank a friend and colleague Ali (aqcoaching)whose work on a mental health campaign for Black men inspired me to write this piece.
His commitment reminded me how vital it is to keep this conversation going for all of us.
